Manage Workplace Conflict
5 Tips To Improve Your Ability to Manage Conflict
UGH….most of us hate conflict but conflict in the office can be even more challenging! I feel that cringe just by mentioning it. Generally, when we witness or participate in conflict we do not feel good and ultimately no one wins. It is best to create a calmer opportunity to discuss if the moment is too heated and then I apply a method I refer to as the PEACE Method. This has been proven to help my clients because it allows them to reflect internally. I have used this myself through uncomfortable situations at work and in my personal life as well. Let us chat about this method and how it can help you manage workplace conflict!
P-PAUSE
P- Pause/reflect on the situation with your objective lens on. Is there another approach and if there is do you bring that up now or wait for a later time? Can you walk away because the situation is tense? What does a positive outcome look like? This can help give you a breath and allow you be in a control of your actions. It is difficult when we feel insulted, attacked, unheard or devalued to take a step back without being defensive but when you do you can have a more thoughtful response. You may want to fight over something that if you were in a clearer mind you may let go. Ensure that you are defending the issue at hand for the right reasons before moving forward.
E-EVALUATE
E- Evaluate your feelings about the situation. Why are you upset? Did you articulately explain your need/solution or outcome? Can you explain differently? Are you feeling heard? Are you feeling disempowered? Is this a coworker that you have a great relationship with or someone that you do not get along with at all? If it is the latter, think about if this situation occurred with a coworker you were more friendly with. Would you react or feel the same way? If not, take a pause, catch your breath, and rethink your strategy. The focus in this category is to help you think through why you are feeling what you are feeling which helps you identify the trigger and gives you space to think of another way around it.
A-ASK
A- Ask for clarity to gain greater perspective on the other person’s recommendation/suggestion. Can you put yourself in their shoes to understand their driver? Do you feel that you completely understand their perspective? I would like to mention that tone is important because it has been shown that 10% of conflicts are due to a difference in an opinion while 90% are due to the wrong tone of voice*. If you ask for clarity, ensure your tone and actions reflect your desire for clarity and you present yourself in an active listening modality. Allow the person(s) to complete their thoughts versus interjecting to make your point. Spend time understanding what their end goal is, what is in it for them and what is driving them towards their solution. This can also help you reframe your message to help them connect what you are offering and how it can also help them. *https://twitter.com/murraynewlands/status/885907187805171712?lang=en
C-COMPROMISE
C- Compromise for a win. Based on your understanding can you find a solution where both sides win? Can you plan a phased approach that could include more options that represent both sides? I know that not every situation can end in a win or win-win but if both parties can try to work it out by actively listening and problem solving together, you may find a solution that is even better than what you came up with independently. You may also be able to compromise in a way that you get the best of both solutions.
E-ENGAGE
E- Engage a mediator if you genuinely believe that both sides are not hearing each other effectively and not able to find a compromise. A different perspective can sometimes add new thoughts because they don’t have the emotional tie. I have found this extremely helpful when I am working with business partners and technology teams who are not seeing eye to eye on a solution. It is important that your mediator does not have a vested interest in either side because you want them to support the solutions being presented versus the individual.
Wrap Up
I hope this has provided some food for thought on how you can better manage workplace conflict but I will love to hear your personal stories. Tell me if you have implemented the PEACE Method or have found your own strategies to manage with workplace conflict. We can all learn from each other because we face different versions of these situations.
But remember that I am here to help as well! If you are in a toxic situation and need a coach to help broaden your perspective or help you find alternative paths, please feel free to reach out to me by visiting: https://isolifecoaching.com/contact/
About the Author
Dr. Gurley is a Career and Life Coach at ISO Life Coaching Services. She has spent over 2 decades in the IT industry and has received and been nominated for many leadership awards. Her genuine nature with her clients along with her call-to-action focus continues to help many clients obtain the clarity they need to create successful opportunities in their lives.
Check out Dr. Gurley’s latest book on Amazon!